"Your children are certainly well behaved." an older gentleman made that comment to me this morning as I was taking all three kids out to breakfast. I could have kissed him.
We do not often get such comments. (usually it's the opposite.) No one has ever come right out and said, "Holy cow, lady, why don't you call super nanny or something?!" but I definitely see the looks we get sometimes. Those looks that let you know someone thinks you're failing at life.
I hate those looks.
I probably used to give those looks before I had any children... (a million years ago, when I was much skinnier and a lot more naive.) Back then, I used to hate the sound of children crying. It straight up annoyed me. I remember one time, my friend, Wendy, and I were talking at work (back when I had a job that didn't involve discussing what color shoes Barbie should wear today or how Buzz Lightyear's laser works) and we heard a baby crying in the store. Wendy made a comment that she always gets sad whenever she hears kids cry and I said something along the lines of, "I think it's annoying." Wendy was a mother and I was not.
Now that I am a mother myself, I get it. Although I tend to feel more for the mother (or father) than the screaming child. I know they're most likely trying hard to get a few things done and their kids are just not feeling it, but they have no choice but to soldier on. These days when I hear a kid crying/screaming, my normal impulse seems to be to rush over and give the mother a hug and tell her that everything will be ok. Maybe it's what I'd like to hear when my kids are having a bad day. Maybe it's just because I want them to know that I don't consider them a failure. Or perhaps I just want to acknowledge their struggle so they don't feel isolated and alone... because I've been there. I've had some pretty tough days when I really just want to run away to my own mother and forget the whole thing - I can't - but boy do I want to sometimes.
Which brings me to my main thought today, that compassion seems to get buried a lot these days. People are so consumed with themselves that they forget they aren't the only humans around. They see other people as obstacles in their way... mere inconveniences along their solitary path of selfishness. It's too bad. I can remember a time when people used to talk with one another. They used to share things face-to-face. They used to laugh and have moments together, moments that speed up and slow down time all at once. They used to relate to one another, instead of competing. People just aren't much like that anymore. Instead of going out of their way to encourage or help, they go out of their way to avoid and ignore... and it's hurting us in ways we probably can't even fathom.
I want to encourage all two of my readers to make a connection with someone. Reach out to a stranger or an old friend you haven't talked to in a while. Instead of just grabbing your grocery bags and rushing out to your car, gab a little with your cashier or the person behind you. Ask someone's opinion about a product. Make a comment. Offer encouragement. Offer love. I love being able to stay connected to people on social media as much as the next person, but it's just not enough! I want to hear your voice. I want to touch you! I want to hear your laugh, to see your tears, to FEEL how you're feeling. I want to connect with you...
Tell a mother in a restaurant that her kids are well behaved... it might be the only positive words she's heard in a long time, and it might come at a time when she is desperate for any kind of sign she's doing anything right.
You never know who you will touch and how big of an impact you will make when you put down your phones and just look at the world.
Acknowledge a life outside of your own. Make a connection.
Rachelle
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