Advent poem

There are many fond memories I have of my childhood, especially of Christmas time. One of those is of my mother doing the advent wreath with us. We didn't do it for more than a few years and I can never remember the poems/verses/sayings she had us read, but I do remember that it really helped bring home the true meaning of Christmas for us, as well as being a fun thing to look forward to on Sunday nights. (And I got to light the pink candle because it was "my" color. Totally started identifying with shepherds after that. Coincidence?)

Now that I'm a mother myself, I've begun to do the advent wreath with my littles. Hooray! What fun! Except... when I found a few articles on it online, they all seemed so short and just generally lacking in one way or another. As I was re-reading the articles for the 30th time one day and feeling a little disappointed, I thought, "You know, I bet I could come up with something on my own." So I did. It took me a few days off and on, but I slowly crafted an advent poem that I really enjoy and that I hope will become a tradition my kids remember every year. Under my husband's insistence, I'm sharing it with you because why not? I hope you enjoy it and heck, maybe you can even read it with your advent if you find yourself similarly disappointed with the other advent offerings on the Internet.

Be of good cheer!

Rachelle

Advent Poem

The prophecy candle (Hope candle)

The first candle we light during this Christmas season,

Is very special and I'll tell you the reason.

It represents hope and the prophets of old, 

Who looked to the future with the things they foretold. 

God gave them visions of a future so bright, 

Prophesies fulfilled one Bethlehem night. 

Though none lived to see their visions come true,

They died with the hope of what God would one day do.

So this candle reminds us to trust in the Lord, 

And believe all the promises found in His Word. 

The Bethlehem candle (faith candle)

The Bethlehem candle is the one we light now,

It's all about faith and I'll explain how.

Mary and Joseph had to fully trust God,

To fulfill His prophesies, no matter how odd.

Afraid as they were, they still chose to obey,

Having faith that God would make them a way.

They didn't know all of His reasons or plans,

But they trusted their lives in God's loving hands.

God brought them to Bethlehem, safe and sound,

So Jesus could be born in that small, quiet town.

The meaning of this candle is a beautiful one,

It reminds us to say, "Lord, let your will be done." 

The shepherd candle (Joy candle)

This candle is different, it's pink and quite bright

It serves a good purpose on this Christmasy night. 

Pink is the candle of joy and of Shepherds,

Those people that God took the time to remember.

Shepherds were seen as undesirable folk,

Stinky and awkward and crude when they spoke

But they were the first to see the new king,

They were the ones to whom Angels did sing.

When the shepherds saw Jesus, that tiny new boy, 

They were filled with wonder and unspeakable joy.

They spread the good news to everyone they saw,

That Christ had come down to fulfill the law.

Let this candle remind you that Jesus came for us all,

The old and the new and the big and the small. 

And just like the shepherds, God chooses us, too

To be joyful witnesses, both me and you.

The Angel candle (Peace candle)

The candle that's next is a heavenly one, 

It tells of God's angels and the song that they sung.

The angel candle is also called peace,

For they sang of a time when evil would cease. 

Some angels carry messages from God to His people,

But rarely do they come to a church with it's steeple.

Instead they go to houses of normal-type folks, 

And deliver the words that Father God spoke.

Some words are for warnings, but others are glad,

Some are good tidings, and some are for bad.

But that night in Bethlehem so long ago,

The Angels brought peace and not words of woe. 

So lighting this candle, let peace fill our hearts,

And be thankful for angels who all do their part.

The Christ candle

The very last candle is the one that means most

It's the candle of Jesus, King of Heavenly Hosts

Jesus was perfect, full of goodness and light

And that is the reason His candle is white

He gave up his title, his throne, and his crown

And with heavenly purpose, to earth he came down

Born to a virgin in that small humble stable,

He started the mission that would end with three nails.

Jesus so loved the world, full of sadness and strife,

That He sacrificed everything and gave up His life.

It's because of His sacrifice that we can be free,

From the shackles of death and the blind can now see.

We light the last candle on Christmas night

So the true meaning of the season will stay in our sight

So Merry Christmas to all on this holiday season,

And may you always remember Jesus is the reason.

Rachelle G. Chandler

For my mother

Many people call my mother friend. They flock to her at social gatherings and laugh as she regales them with anecdote after anecdote, most of them involving one or more of her eight children (Sewing Jeffrey's leg up with dental floss, anyone?) There is just something about that woman that screams "safe place, all are welcome here." She will love you, even when she emphatically, absolutely, positively disagrees with you... or what you just said... Or what you just did... or who you're dating... or who you're voting for... or what religion you belong to.  She will still love you. It's just one of her many qualities that I wish to better emulate.

So many times, (even now as a grown woman in my thirties) the first thing I want to do when things get tough is run home to my mother. I guess, somehow, the world doesn't seem as scary when she's next to me. And that's who she is: a pillar of strength for everyone. Sadly, this beautiful and inspiring woman (like many others) doesn't believe she was a great mother to us growing up and she relives her mistakes often. If only she could see how the rest of us view her.

When I look at my mother, I see a woman who gave birth to eight healthy children (five of them without any epidurals or drugs!) I see a woman who spent 25 years of her life homeschooling those eight kids. I see a woman who single-handedly packed up our camper and kids several times a year so we could go to the desert, even though she spent the whole time working like a dog and was pretty much hot, tired, and miserable the whole time. I see a woman who gives everything she has to help someone, and when she has nothing left to give, she gives her time. I see a woman who loves pretty things and tried so hard to make a beautiful home, despite her children foiling her plans at every turn. She has great decorating sense and always has such great ideas.

Let's face it, the woman is a creative genius. I've often watched in amazement the collaboration that takes place between her and my dad. Usually she would come up with an idea and he would make it happen. They really were a great team in that way.

If I had to pick just one thing above the countless others that my mother has taught me, it would be this:

Don't listen to the negative input from outsiders, they don't have all the information, so they don't know what works for us and what doesn't. They aren't raising your kids and it's not their right to put their two cents in, you don't owe them an explanation. Listen instead to your instincts, your kids, your husband and God, they will give you a more honest appraisal of your progress than the world ever could.

This lesson is one that was never vocalized, but instead, I saw it frequently executed in her daily life. When she wanted to homeschool her kids, the world told her how stupid that was... she did it anyway.  When she had eight kids, the world told her how stupid she was... she did it anyway. When she decided to join my dad in learning to fly, the world didn't think it was a good idea... she did it anyway. When she decided to move her family to Idaho, the world said it was bad juju... she did it anyway.  She did these things (and many more)  because she knew that these things would be best for HER family. It was hard on her to face so much vocal opposition at every turn, but she bore it with a silent strength I wish I had.

I could go on and on and on for days about my mother and how magnificent she is, but I'm going to stop here with a simple:

"Thank you, Mommis, I don't know what we would have done or who we would be without you. I love you and Happy Mother's Day."

10 years later: Remembering my wedding

I think it was about this time 10 years ago that my sister's boyfriend was driving me home from a last minute dash to Will's apartment to drop off bedding. Instead of going directly home though, he was adamant he must stop to get Bethany some bananas from Henry's market. He moseyed around the store and then called my sister because they were out of organic bananas and he wanted to know if regular were ok. She promptly yelled into the phone that I was supposed to be getting married in an hour and she didn't care about bananas, just get Rachelle to her wedding!

We made it with a few minutes to spare and my mother hustled to get my hair in some kind order, throw some mascara on my lashes and stuff my into my dress and then it was time to walk out with my dad.

I started shaking so bad that I was worried my bouquet of white gladiolas and pink roses would fall apart! (My neighbor, Cindy, did all the flowers and they were gorgeous.) My dad distracted me with casual conversation until we finally arrived at our destination. My aunts were bustling around, here and there, making sure everything was running smoothly behind the scenes. Friends and family beamed at us from where they stood at either side of the grassy aisle that was strewn with pink rose petals. My Uncle Bruce and his buddy, Larry, played the song "Heart of the Heartland " as we proceeded. My cousin Tina and both of my sisters stood on one side of the pedestal with my soon to be brother-in-law, Kyle, my brother Brad, and Will's best friend, Selden standing on the other. 

Will was at the end of the aisle, looking handsome in his rented tux and sporting the pale pink rose boutonnière. He had insisted that men don't wear pink, but he did it for me. He grinned when he saw me and I knew he approved of my dress; it was a gorgeous strapless, a-line creation with pastel flowers embroidered around the waist and hemline. It was the third dress I'd tried on and even after trying on countless others at several stores over the next few weeks, I kept coming back to that one. It was perfect. I've never felt more beautiful than I did on that day.

Unfortunately, that was the end of the perfection as the man officiating our wedding proceeded to completely bungle his way through the ceremony. We had waited too long to find an officiant and were stuck with my parent's tax guy who happened to be a "lay pastor" on the side. He was doing our wedding strictly as a favor to my parents and he barely knew me. We had met with him only once before to discuss what we wanted and he didn't come to the rehearsal because he had a "previous engagement." At our brief meeting the week before, he'd asked if we were going to write our own vows and we emphatically told him no, but somehow, he thought that meant we wanted no vows at all... so during our ceremony, he talked about marriage for a moment and then we exchanged rings and that was it. No vows. No promises. I was so confused. I almost wish our photographer had captured the irritation on my face when I realized we'd been gypped out of our vows, which was the whole reason for having this ceremony.

That's not all though. We were supposed to do a butterfly release because that was the unofficial theme of the wedding. They came in a box that was refrigerated to keep them from flapping around and hurting themselves and supposedly, they should have been well defrosted by the time they made their big debut... but they weren't. So we opened the lid and waited... And waited. Nothing happened. We both stared into the box. Our audience laughed. Will pulled out the cardboard the poor butterflies were all slinging to and gave it a gentle shake, they sluggishly fluttered around, many if them falling to the ground. We all had a good laugh over it later.

After the butterfly disaster, our officiant then proceeded to announce us as Mr. and Mrs. Will CHAMBERLAIN. I was fed up at that point and bellowed out "It's CHANDLER." The poor guy was so embarrassed that he snuck away immediately after the ceremony, completely forgetting to sign our marriage certificate!

Once the sham of a ceremony was over, things went better. Toasts were made, we danced our first dance to Edwin McCain's "I'll Be." My father/daughter dance was to Sunrise/Sunset from Fiddler on the Roof and Will and my mom danced to "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion. In the middle of everything, our DJ announced that Will had a surprise and he directed me to a chair in the front of the room. I sat, embarrassed at being the center of attention and apprehensive at just what kind of surprise my new husband had in store for me. He walked up to the front with a guitar and sat on a stool, smiling sheepishly. He then proceeded to haltingly sing Adam Sandler's song "Grow old with you." It was an incredibly sweet moment and he'd been working in learning it for months, going once a week with Brad to have lessons from Uncle Bruce.

The rest of the wedding was a whirl of bouquet and garter throwing, conga lines, and swing dancing and then, it was over. The last song was supposed to be "Stay" by Maurice Williams but the DJ played some horribly unrecognizable punk rock version, I was so tired at that point though that I didn't care. We passed through a tunnel of bubbles and rose petals on our way out and went back to my parent's house to unwind.

Since we didn't have vows, my dad looked up the traditional ones at home and performed another ceremony for us, which was very sweet and special. Then we opened presents since we were going on our honeymoon to Hawaii the next morning and finally we drove home. I remember crying a little as we left, because I was really leaving home this time.

It was a beautiful day and so many amazing memories were made. Sure, the ceremony was a disaster, but you know what? EVERYONE remembers my wedding because of it and I think that's great.

So happy 10th anniversary to my best friend and life companion. You're still the one.

Springing up new life

The last few months have been interesting.

In March, I felt God wanted me to undertake a 40-day fast. I know, it sounds extreme and it is, which is the whole point. I started out pumped up and stoked for all the revelations I would soon be having and the new lease on life I would get... oh sweet child. Sweet, naive thing. I ended nine days into it as a sniveling, crying blob of defeat on the floor. It was awful.

(I don't say that because fasting in and of itself is awful, nor do I want to discourage anyone else from fasting if you feel God has called you to fast. I just want to be honest about my experiences.)

I was ok until around day 5/6 when I started producing massive amounts of stomach acid and feeling nauseated 24/7. I had heartburn nonstop and began puking several times. I made it about an hour into the tenth day before I gave up. I was so violently ill, I didn't want to go on. I felt absolutely defeated.

Come to find out, I was suffering from a sickness that the rest of the family was soon battling as well.  So it didn't have a lot to do with fasting, I was just sick.

With that knowledge, I decided to try again. Two weeks later, I was back to fasting. I suppose I just wanted to be able to finish what I had started.

The first four days went by with no problem. I felt good, I was walking every day and meditating on Scripture, it was great... and then come days 5 and 6. I feel the heartburn creeping in again, then the hunger picks up, only ten times stronger than last time. By day 7, I was in complete nauseated misery yet again.  I lasted until day 8 that time. It turns out that it's really difficult to be a full-time mom/teacher while fasting. I can better understand now why so many other people remove themselves from their normal routines and experiences in order to fast, free of distractions and responsibilities.

For a few days, I was really disappointed. I had twice failed to do something I had really felt God wanted me to do. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I do this? But now, those negative feelings are fading and I am happy with what was accomplished. Those 17 days of fasting really went a long way in helping me. My general attitude has improved, I have started healthier habits like walking 5 miles every day and severely limiting my consumption of wheat, sugar, and caffeine, and I feel mentally stronger and emotionally lighter than I did before. All great things.

I think the point of the fasting (for me) was less about reaching a certain number, and more about why I was attempting it at all. I wanted to please God. During those fasts, I did not feel God's presence much at all. Truth be told, He felt even further away than before I started. As I mentioned before, I really wondered if I was doing something wrong? But then I heard something last week that really encouraged me. I was watching God's Not Dead 2 and in one scene, the grandpa is trying to encourage his granddaughter and he says something like, "The teacher is always quiet during the test." When I heard that, I immediately thought of my fasts.

I wasn't doing anything wrong, God was just watching to see how I would react and respond to the test. And afterwards, He helped me back up, dusted me off and sent me back down the path again.

So yeah, I'm obviously not the poster child for fasting, but that's ok. I learned a lot and I think it really did help me to grow and learn and let go of some baggage I didn't need to be hanging onto. I might do it again at some point, probably not anytime soon, but eventually.

So that's what's been going on with me the last two months. Spring is all about new life and growth and that's definitely what's been going on with me.

Lovers of the Truth

Are you a wimpy, wishy-washy, don't-want-to-offend-anyone-with-common-sense-and-logistics lover-of-the-world? Or are you a lover of God and the Truth?

"And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness." 2 Thessalonians 2:10-12

The world hates the truth and doesn't even know what to do with it when they are confronted with it. People are so petrified of standing out by speaking the truth that they have slipped into silent approval, just so they can avoid the unpleasantness of telling someone they are wrong.

if I came up to you and said, "Hey! I can fly, wanna see?" And then I proceeded to climb up a ten story building, ready to jump off the edge to demonstrate my newfound "powers," would you let me jump? After all, look how happy it makes me to believe I can fly? You know it's not physically possible for people to fly without aid, but hey, who are you to burst my bubble? I'm not hurting anyone with my belief (aside from myself, when I end up dead on the road below.) so what's the big deal? The big deal is I am going to die if you let me jump off that building in my blissfully delusional state. are you going to be ok with that? When the police ask what happened are you going to feebly offer your excuse, "She said she could fly... it wasn't my business to correct her?" Are you out of your mind?! Stop me before it's too late! Save me from my delusions! Tell me the truth!

Alas, many people nowadays see homosexuality as some kind of birthright, rather than a mental disease, so they ignore it. They give awards to "brave" *cough* confused *cough* people like Bruce Jenner, who decided one day to forsake who they were and tried to be something unnatural. Something wrong. Bruce Jenner can change his hair and makeup and even have surgery to make himself appear more womanly, but he was born a man, and he will die as one. Lying to him in order to make him feel better about his sickness is wrong. No amount of "acceptance" will change his DNA. What's worse? He's misleading millions of impressionable young people and he will ultimately answer to God for it. And God will not be referring to him as Caitlyn, btw.

I am not just saying these things to be a big meanie or because I just can't stand for people to be "happy." I think all happiness outside of a relationship with Jesus is temporary at best, and completely false at worst. I don't want people to be miserable, I want them to be free from Satan's grip on their lives. I want them to make Satan miserable, instead of the other way around. But the only way they will ever do that, is by becoming lovers of the Truth, instead of themselves..

Truth?

Today, as I was perusing pinterest, I clicked on a link about Disney movies. This lead to me scrolling down buzzfeed's wall and looking at the various links available there.  I stumbled over one that was very disheartening and pretty much a poster child for how far America's society has fallen in the last few decades.

"13 Divorce Selfies That Will Make You Want To Fall Out Of Love" was the title.

I sighed as I clicked, knowing what I was likely to find.  Sure enough, there were dozens of smiling faces in front of courthouses, holding up divorce papers with ridiculous hashtags and comments.

Some said things such as: "Don't be sad it's ending, be glad it happened." and "What a beautiful journey." My disgust grew with each picture.  The height of my upset, however, came when reading the comments below (this is a normal occurrence for me, as those comments usually reveal humanity's most shallow, horrible, selfish thoughts to the rest of the world.)

One particular stream of literary vomit included this lovely exchange:

Lee Rinkle ·

"People flipping their s*** because two people turned out to be not quite matches for each other... i grew up in a divorced-parent family and seeing my parents constantly at each other's throats, constantly ****-talking each other around their children... these photos make me happy. sometimes life doesn't work out like you originally planned, for whatever reason. i'm glad these people were able to let go of each other and be civil, even joyous for their shared experience and happy for the other and their future. it's a good reminder that you can plan down to the tiniest detail, but life never 

Kaitlin Batt ·

I totally agree. Also, to the people going at it with "oh but the children must be devistated"... I can attest to the fact that they will be much less devistated and much less scarred (maybe not right away, but soon enough) knowing that their parents are happily divorced rather than miserably married. Parents aren't good parents because they "stay together for the kids", they are good parents because they work through their shit without it becoming the child's life to watch them argue and tear one another down.

Like · Reply · 4 · 1 hr

Toya Davis · 
TRUTH.

It was that last little comment that really broke this camel's back.  I sat there, staring dumbly at the screen for a few moments, wondering where everything had gone wrong?  When had people begun to herald things like divorce and abortion as brave and courageous events?  When did it become more respectable to get married and divorced five times, rather than stay and fight for your vows and your spouse? When did the lie become truth?  

I don't think it's very brave to end a marriage.  There are cases I would understand leaving, such as physical abuse or infidelity, but the vast majority of divorces are because two selfish people got married and then discovered that marriage takes a lot of work and compromise.  And then, rather than doing that work, they threw their hands in the air and said, "It's over. I can't live in these conditions." 

There is a quote I love from an old couple who had been together for several decades, that when asked the secret to their long marriage, they said that it was because they came from a time when you fixed things that were broken, instead of throwing them away.  So profound. So true.

If you aren't happy in your marriage, figure out why and set about fixing it.  Ask yourself what would make you happy, figure out what would make your spouse happy and come to some kind of middle ground.  If he loves fishing, but you love reading, go sit with the hubby and read while he catches fish.  If you love broadway shows but he can't stand them, take your sister/mom/friend instead of badgering him into coming.  Communicate.  If there's a problem, don't ignore it to the point that it becomes the monster in your closet, threatening you at every turn.  Deal with it.  Get your hands dirty while cleaning your marriage up.  Put in the work.  

Ask pretty much any gardener what would happen if you just sprinkled some seeds on the ground and left them on their own and they'll likely tell you that not much will happen at all.  Some seeds might actually take root and grow, but the majority of them will be picked up by birds and squirrels, washed out by rainfall or scorched by the sun. This is because seeds need to be tended and cared for in order to thrive.  Your marriage is no different.  To my dismay, this cavalier attitude towards marriage only seems to be growing.  People no longer go into a marriage expecting to be together for the rest of their lives. "It's unrealistic." they tell themselves and feel better knowing they have that escape hatch known as "divorce," you know, just in case.  And many of them use that escape hatch at the first sign of discomfort, acting like spoiled princesses and egotistical princes, throwing a tantrum because they're spouse had some annoying habits they didn't want to put up with anymore. 

No one fights for the things worth fighting for.  They'll scream for equal rights and higher wages and more free stuff from the government all day long, but when it comes to showing their spouse that they're worth the time and effort? Forget it, man, that's too hard!  

And so we've concocted this attractive lie and sold it to the masses.  "Divorce is a beautiful, courageous thing."  I can't even type it without cringing and wanted to hit the backspace bar. Divorce is a hateful, selfish, ugly thing and it scars everyone involved, no matter how "happy" they look in that selfie.  Don't buy into the lie.  Love is a choice you make every day. If you have love, then don't throw it away because you're chasing some illusion that love is effortless and always light and fun and happy.  Give your marriage your time and effort, fight for it, nurture it, feed it.  

And that is the truth.

Where is your humanity?

I really never realized the pressure parents are under until I had kids of my own, and boy, is there ever pressure!

I don't claim to have all the parenting answers, but you know what I do have?  A choice as to how I will raise my kids.  That choice is precious to me.  Yes, the pressure to produce brilliant, beautiful, mindful heirs is always there, but at least I still have a choice as to how I can best help my kids become those things.

A lot of people nowadays don't seem to think we should have a choice.  Take the pro-vaccination crowd, for instance.  I'm seeing more and more of them insisting that those of us who opt out of vaccines need to be held financially responsible if our kid happens to come into contact with theirs and their kid ends up sick. Another gem I've heard is that the government should seize our houses, cars, and funds unless we start vaccinating.  And we haven't even touched the whole idea that EVERYONE should be forced to vaccinate and have no choice at all.

There are also the anti-gun people who swear if we just take away everyone's right to own guns then crime will just stop completely.  *blinks*  I just can't even.

A lot of places are now dumping fluoride in their water, as well, saying it's an effort to "help strengthen teeth." But they leave out that fluoride is hazardous to your body when ingested (remember at the dentist's office where you just swished it around in your mouth and then spit it out?  Yeah, there's a reason.) they also seem to forget that there is no way to properly calculate how much fluoride each person will end up ingesting, so those of us who drink a lot of water could end up poisoning our body.  Fluoride causes massive stress on your adrenal and thyroid glands and has been linked to hypothyroidism... and yet, because some clever person had a flair for dressing up a disaster with pretty language, the public has no idea of the damage this is doing, nor do we even have a choice in most situations.

There's the other matter of no longer being able to discipline your children without facing jail time.  I am not promoting child abuse, but parents cannot do hardly anything to teach their children respect and boundaries anymore because they're petrified of having those precious children taken away.

And don't get me started on how hard the government makes it to homeschool your children, even though they've done a crap job of overhauling the public school system.  The poor kids nowadays are being squashed into submission with any hope of creativity and ingenuity being violently rooted out and destroyed.  And yet, those of us who want to nurture our children and help them create and absorb and enjoy life are often labeled as uneducated hippies or unfit, ignorant morons.

All of these things are hard enough to deal with, but when you add all of the bloodthirsty, bitter, hateful comments so many people fling around, it just compounds it into sheer misery. Well that's just rude.

Do yourself a favor and don't read any of the comments following any online news article because you will most likely either cry or be in a bad mood for the next week.  I see parents screaming at other parents, calling them foul names and insisting they're complete morons... but why?  Because the other parents had the nerve to form a differing opinion?

I hate the direction this country has taken in the last decade.  There is such fear-mongering over everything, we're being bullied and pushed and pulled and forced and the worst part is that now the American people have started joining in the bad behaviors of our government.

Would these angry people screaming for more rules, regulations, and laws really enjoy the kind of world they're promoting?  When we have no choices regarding the food we eat, the water we drink, the clothes we wear, the houses we live in, the schooling our children receive, the books we're allowed to read, the movies we can watch, the people we can associate with, the medical care we are able to utilize (or even IF we want to utilize it) will these people really be happier?

I don't think these people realize they're being manipulated... likely they won't realize it until it's too late.  After watching this shift occur over several years and even decades, I find myself asking more and more, "Where is your humanity? You weren't created to behave this way." 

*shakes head*