Procrastinations...

So after weeks of not writing a single sentence in my poor, sad little book, I came back to it on Sunday with a burst of inspiration.  It began with me wanting a read a book, but coming to the realization that the only book I wanted to read was my own.  What a dilemma, as my book has yet to be written.

So I made myself plop my rear end onto the chair at my desk and stared blankly at the computer screen for a few moments.  It was then I realized I needed some music!  Yes, I need inspiration!  So rather than write, I went off on a wild goose chase in search of a perfect motivational score that would have me churning out the pages like magic.  Three hours later, I had yet to find anything but a headache.

So I went back to my documents page and continued to stare.  Then I realized I had no coffee!  One simply cannot write a good story with coffee (or tea) to sustain them!  So I made myself coffee and plopped back down into the chair, certain this would get the creative juices flowing.

Flowing... that reminded me that I needed to use the bathroom.

While utilizing my bathroom, I decided I'd better straighten it up a bit, so I gathered the pile of laundry that had accumulated and put it with the bigger pile in the other bathroom, making a mental note that I needed to go to the laundromat in the next day or so.

The thought of going to the laundromat made me cringe and reminded me that I was going to look for a new washer on craigslist.  At this point, I recognized full well what I was doing, but I still didn't stop myself.  I was hiding from writing.  And not well, I might add!  I could hear it calling me, disapproval saturating it's tone.

It's not that I don't want to write - I do!  It's just. so. slow.  I type a sentence, stare at said sentence and then re-write it a dozen times until I'm satisfied and move on... but then, hours later, I return to delete it and start from scratch.  -_-

Then there are the times of explosive ideas when I write and write and write and think, "Yes! This is brilliant!"  This is usually late at night when my littles are asleep and I can better focus, but it never fails, when I re-read it the next morning, I am completely disappointed.  Everything must sound better when you're half asleep, that is the only possible explanation for it.  So frustrating!  The perfectionist in me is ruining everything.

Anyway, all of this brings me to a quote my little (26 year old) sister says all the time:  "Even if it's crap, just get it on the page!"  I can hear her voice chanting it in my head.  I pretend she's standing behind me with a ruler, ready to smack my hands the second they leave the keyboard.  And she probably would, too, if she didn't live hundreds of miles away.

So with that image firmly in my mind, back I will go, chasing that elusive miracle known as the perfect story.  Wish me luck.

Rachelle